Properly Related (3:18 – 4:1)

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
– Colossians 3:18 – 4:1¹

This brief passage is a straightforward exhortation that stands on a principle Paul has already established. When someone is “in Christ,” life gets redefined. The preceding verses in chapter three have worked two sides of this principle. First, because of Christ there are old ways that must be put aside. They are behaviors and practices that do not reflect the righteousness of God. Correspondingly, there are new ways that must be adopted, figuratively “put on” like a new garment. These are the traits that do reflect the righteousness of God. With that in mind, and because life is lived in connection with other people, Paul touches on how our relationships are impacted by our discipleship.

The three areas Paul addresses would have been types of relationships familiar to nearly everyone: husband and wife, parent and child, slave and master. Two of these are more familiar to modern readers than the third; slavery in many parts of the world has faded into something we know primarily by way of history. As always with scripture, it is helpful to bridge the gap between our world and the world into which the text was born. Rather than venturing into an extended study of slavery in Roman society, let us take a different angle.

When modern Western readers come across a text like this, a natural reaction is to wonder why Paul, a follower of Jesus, would appear to support the practice of slavery by doing nothing more than telling masters how to treat their slaves. To ask why Paul would not rather tell the masters to free their slaves is a fair question. In considering this, let us first make an important observation. Most cultures throughout human history have practiced some form of slavery. That is not a justification, just a statement of reality. We know that Paul was not averse to making bold statements. However, to simply tell people to stop doing something that is ingrained in their daily living may not have been the most wise strategy. Rather than insist on measures that could have risked the growth of the Church, it appears that Paul might have a different strategy.

An analogy may be helpful. In our culture we often use walls to depict systems of thought and life that need to be overcome. There are at least two ways to take down a wall. One way is to beat on the blocks of the wall, hoping you can get a hammer large enough and strike the wall hard enough to make it come down. Another way is to work at slowly eroding the ground on which the wall stands. Once enough ground is eroded, the wall will come down under its own weight. It may take time, but it works. People in East Texas can give you honest accounts of the damage done to structures by shifting soil.

In our text from Colossians, Paul seems to be targeting the foundation of relationships. He may be envisioning sweeping societal change, but he is addressing the soil, not the bricks. The soil is how we see one another once we are in Christ. All cultures help to shape how relationships are defined, not only between slaves and masters, but parents and children, husbands and wives, and any others. Christ redefines how we relate. Wives should not have a rebellious heart, but one that is humble toward the husband. Likewise, husbands should love their wives in a way that lifts them up and honors them rather than being harsh and demanding. Children should view parents with respect, and parents should view children as a precious gift from God to be nurtured. Slaves should hold their master with respect, as they would with Christ. Masters should view their servants in the same way Christ views us.

If you notice, it is all about attitude. Paul’s words to the servants can be applied to us all: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Do you see that phrase “as for the Lord?” What happens when Jesus redefines how we relate to one another? Things change. We change. Our actions change because our perspective has changed. When our actions change, our relationships change. And ultimately, when our relationships change, society will change. Paradigms will shift and walls will come down, and it will all be because Jesus got in the middle of our relationships.

1. Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ↩︎