“My mind was ruffled with small cares today,
And I said pettish words, and did not keep
Long-suffering patience well, and now how deep
My trouble for this sin! in vain I weep
For foolish words I never can unsay.”
– Henry S. Sutton (Leaves of Gold, pg. 123)
Many times people have been invited to ponder the question, “Do you have any regrets? Would you change anything?” As it is a “yes or no” question, there are two general ways one could respond. Some say with confidence, “I have no regrets. I would not change a thing.” That is a commendable perspective. It reflects a willing satisfaction with how life has evolved. In a way, I share this perspective. God has brought me to a good place, and I couldn’t wish anything better.
Nevertheless, it would be dishonest of me to say I wouldn’t change a thing through my life. Certainly God has saved me from many bad circumstances, and woven unmerited favor throughout my years. Still, there are many things I wish I could undo, much relating to things I have said. The spoken word is powerful. It can accomplish much good, but at the same time it can do terrible harm. It may take sticks and stones to break bones, but words can do much deeper, longer lasting damage.
“Foolish words I can never unsay:” I cringe to think how long the list has grown over sixty two years. I have spoken them out of impatience, unfair bias or sadly out of egotistical attempts to be catchy or humorous. Each word spoken like this has a double edge. The first edge obviously cuts toward the target. The words discredit, belittle, and bully a person, harming them even if the words are not spoken directly to them. It would be sad enough if the words cut this way only. Unfortunately, they cut another way also. Ultimately they cut the person who speaks.
What does it do to my character when I speak carelessly? It harms me because it reveals to the world exactly who I am. Jesus once said, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45). Listen closely to how a person speaks. Not just when their words are prepared, when the person is guarded and their speech is crafted. Listen when they are talking casually, unguarded. It is then you will see that person’s true character.
There are times when my words have been harmful even when my intentions were good. Such instances are sad enough. How much worse when I add the countless times when I wielded the tongue as an unrestrained sword. If I could change anything about the past, I would go back to every moment of such guilt and attempt to speak instead from a place of humility, grace and wisdom.
As we don’t get second chances with words, may God give me grace to speak well with the first chance.
See you along the Winding Path.
The Winding Path 