For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
– Matthew 6:14-15
Happy Easter! He is still Risen! It was a good journey through Lent with the Leaves of Gold series. Thank you to all who journeyed with me, for all the feedback and sharing how God spoke to you during the season. With that season complete, we now return to finish the teaching series covering the Sermon on the Mount. The previous posts are all available through the menu link on the Winding Path home page.
At this point in the text, Jesus has just given what we know as the Lord’s Prayer, a simple yet well-rounded framework for healthy prayer. Part of that prayer contains these words: “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” This dynamic of forgiving and forgiveness is reinforced by the words in verses 14-15. Of the several points in the prayer, this is the one that gets the footnote to add emphasis. I am not suggesting that Jesus thinks one part of the prayer is more important that others. Still, it seems to me this touches something that is central to our relationship with God and with others.
Through my years in pastoral ministry, a number of people have shared with me their struggle with the issue of forgiveness. Some have explicitly mentioned their concern with texts such as Matthew 6:14-15. The struggle with forgiveness is common. One obvious reason is that we all have been wronged by someone, and therefore the opportunity to forgive is regularly before us. Along with that is the reality that forgiveness can be difficult. It does not seem to come naturally. All this can leave us feeling a nervous tension when we are confronted with the idea that our willingness to forgive others impacts our standing with God. How do we navigate this?
I think we should first be clear on one thing: Jesus meant what he said. And for the record, I believe what he said was recorded accurately, so there is no loop hole to give us an easy escape. Further, these two verses of scripture are not an anomaly. Other texts reinforce the same idea (see Matthew 18:21-35 as a powerful example). As I said in the previous post Simple Prayer, “forgiveness and grace are nonnegotiable elements of living faithfully.” When opening for us the door to Kingdom living, God doesn’t say, “it would be great if you would be a forgiving person, but if that’s not in your nature, then don’t worry about it.” Some of us might feel much better if that were the case. I would point out, though, that the part of us that would feel better is our flesh, which is not obedient to the Spirit.
If we are to take God at His word, how do we resolve our struggle? A good place to start is to remember that being a Christian is a process of renewal. The Bible uses language of putting off an old self and putting on a new self that looks like Jesus (see Colossians 3:9-10). Our faith journey consists of us becoming conformed to the character of God, not conforming God to our character. If God’s nature is forgiving and merciful, we can confidently say that perfect forgiveness is a divine act. When we have difficulty extending complete forgiveness, it shouldn’t surprise us. We are trying to do something that is according to God’s nature, not that of fallen humankind.
If this is true (which I think is obvious), holding to a mindset of “I just can’t forgive” is not an option for a Christian. Further, it is not even the right approach. Forgiveness, as with any other facet of living a godly life, is accomplished not by our own power, but through the power of the Holy Spirit working in us. In other words, relying on our human capacity to forgive will not get the job done. It takes God’s help. And as with anything else that requires God’s help, that help becomes effective when we make it a matter of prayer. This fits under the “ask and it shall be given to you” umbrella. We know without qualification that God wants us to be forgiving. Therefore we can ask with the utmost confidence. It might take some time to see the work finished. After all, the human heart can be quite hard. Consistently brought near the warmth of God’s love, though, the heart will eventually melt into a state of overflowing mercy.
Think of it this way. Our salvation is a covenant between ourselves and God that is made willingly. In other words, we agree to it. What Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15 describes a person who is unwilling to keep the terms of an agreement they have accepted. God never requires anything of us that is not possible with His help. If we do not forgive others, it is not because we lack the capacity to do it, but because we lack the willingness. This is not faithful keeping of our covenant with God. So when we say to God, “I just can’t forgive,” what we may really be saying is, “I just don’t want to forgive.” That’s where the problem lies.
As a final word, keep reminding yourself of the depth of mercy you have received from the Lord. Is some person’s offense against you greater than the one you’ve been forgiven by God? Let me answer the question for you: no. Not only “no,” but “not even close.” Expounding on this is a conversation for another time, so I hope you will take my word for it for now. Another person’s sin against us may seem quite large when we are focused on it, but it will diminish into insignificance when we behold the sin we’ve had forgiven through Jesus Christ. The floodwaters of God’s mercy can wash away all bitterness from our hearts. All we need to do is let the water flow.
Think about it.
See you along the Winding Path.
The Winding Path 