While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.”And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.”
– Matthew 26:26-29
(see also Matthew 18:21-35)
Practicing Forgiveness.
Jesus taught forgiveness, but can we say that Jesus practiced forgiveness? It is not a question of whether or not he demonstrated the capacity to forgive. Rather, can we say that Jesus made it a habit? Did he incorporate forgiveness into his personal life?
What it Means to Forgive.
Think of forgiveness as the relief of a burden between one party and another. A common expression of this would be the cancellation of a debt, such as a financial one. It is the same dynamic in a more broad relational sense. My burden toward you might come if I defame you, physically harm you, steal something from you, or damage you or your property in any manner.
Elements of Forgiveness.
When observing Christian teaching regarding forgiveness, it is common that forgiveness is offered in response to a request for mercy. As followers of Christ, we are taught to seek the forgiveness of those we have wronged (Matthew 5:23-26). However, to fully follow the example of Jesus we are challenged to forgive even without being asked.
Another element of forgiveness is restitution. When possible, repair or repayment is expected. Some of the Mosaic Law detailed examples of how that was expected to be done in a right way (IFTTT). Again, if we are following the example of Jesus, we are challenged to be willing to absorb the burden of the offender.
A Parable about Willingness.
In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus offers a parable addressing our stubbornness regarding forgiveness. It is about a man who was forgiven an incomprehensible debt by a king, but who was unwilling to forgive another person for a modest debt. What the king in that parable models for us is the willingness to absorb the burden of the debt (Matt. 18:27).
This is an important thing to note. Can forgiveness happen if restitution is impossible? Yes—if one is willing to absorb the burden. In the parable, there was no third party standing by with ten thousand talents to give the king. The king was willing to suffer the loss in order to relieve the burden from another person. This is a picture of forgiveness.
Now consider the man’s actions after having his burden lifted. He was unwilling to follow the example of the king by absorbing the burden. The thing that makes this so remarkable is the difference in magnitude between the debt owed the king and the debt owed the man. The man’s actions appear clearly unreasonable. Imagine the king’s words to the man who wouldn’t forgive his fellow servant: “You just got a $100,000 credit to your checking account. Are you seriously telling me you can’t write off the $20 this guy owes you?!”
He Bore Our Burden.
With all this forgiveness, who ultimately bears the cost? If we are talking finances as recorded on a ledger, debts don’t just go away. Either someone pays them or the entity to which the debt is owed must suffer the loss. We can be thankful that the mental/emotional/spiritual debts accumulated by humanity have been absorbed by God through Jesus. At his last meal with his friends before dying, Jesus declared the cup of their Passover meal to be an offering of his blood that would be shed for the forgiveness of sin. For the offenses of humanity, Jesus settled the debt. In God’s economy, “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22).
What does that mean for us? That we can be free to forgive without having to absorb the burden ourselves. If we find forgiveness difficult, perhaps it would help to picture us passing the burden on to Jesus. After all, he’s the one who has paid for the sin.
In Modern Context
Our challenge to follow Jesus’ example usually involves personal harm that is done to us. As mentioned earlier, these are things that leave us hurt mentally, emotionally, socially, and sometimes physically. There may be times when the forgiveness we are called to give is financial in nature, and we must be receptive when the Holy Spirit prompts us like that. The dictionary app on my computer defines forgive as to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense.” This is another way of saying that we grant relief to that person’s burden, even if we must absorb the cost of the burden.
Recently I read a touching account of a couple who experienced the death of their newborn child. The child was born prematurely, and was in the care of the hospital’s NIC unit. Avoidable mistakes in care led to the child’s death. Two nurses were put on administrative leave because of the incident. The mother and father were followers of Jesus. They prayed about how to handle the situation. They realized that nothing could bring their child back, and God put on their hearts to offer forgiveness. The couple obtained the identities of the two nurses, went to their homes, offered words of grace and forgiveness, and prayed with the women. This loving couple absorbed the burden and offered mercy.
Did Jesus Practice Forgiveness?
Let’s return to the question from earlier. I suggest that the answer is “yes,” and I propose the following logic. How do we prepare to do something difficult? Practice for it. It is plain from reading the gospel accounts that Jesus was consistently mistreated by people. He regularly had people lying about him, criticizing him unfairly, and attempting to discredit his work. How would you feel? My guess is that Jesus was constantly putting these matters before the Father in his prayer time, practicing forgiveness.
When did it become glaringly obvious? At his crucifixion. As he was suffering the most agonizing of deaths, he found himself the object of scorn, abuse and disrespect. In the face of it all, his prayer was, “Father, forgive them; they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). You don’t reach that capacity to forgive without much practice.
The Winding Path 