It was said, “Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce;” but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
– Matthew 5:31-32
If you have read my two previous blog posts (Anger and Lust) you need to know that I am NOT continuing here with naming the post after the sin being addressed in Jesus’ teaching. Much to the contrary, this is about the beautiful gift that Jesus so passionately defends: marriage. As we consider these two verses, we will once again find that Jesus is addressing a problem in the human heart.
It will be helpful for us to draw on another passage where Jesus is being questioned on the matter of marriage. The passage is found in Matthew 19:3-9. In this passage, Jesus is asked if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife “for any reason at all.” The motive behind the question was to see if Jesus would affirm the teaching of Moses in the Torah. The first thing to notice about Jesus’ response is how he reaches even further back than Moses in order to ground his answer. In essence, Jesus says, “Let’s go ALL the way back to see how God arranged it according to his original design.” Jesus responded by quoting scripture: “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4, Genesis 1:27). He then said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5, Genesis 2:24). Jesus then follows with this declaration: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
He seems pretty clear, wouldn’t you say? God made the man and woman to be joined in a lifelong, enduring relationship. The idea that the covenant of marriage can be tossed aside “for any reason” is foreign to God’s intent. Hearing this, though, the Pharisees did not relinquish easily. They pushed back saying, “Then why did Moses give the instruction to issue a certificate of divorce and send the woman on her way?” (Matthew 19:7, see Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus has a simple answer: hardness of heart. Moses was not prescribing a free and open system of discarding the bond of marriage. Rather, he was conceding to the reality that humans are often less determined to keep covenant than God is.
Consider the fact that God’s relationship with the Hebrew people was pictured in scripture as a marriage. Often in the Old Testament the unfaithfulness of the Israelites was described as adultery. In one odd instance, God tells the prophet Hosea to take for himself a wife of harlotry. It would be a visible sign to Israel of their own unfaithfulness (see Hosea 1:2). Time after time God could have rightly called it quits on the covenant with Israel, and no one would have blamed God for doing so. Yet God is so extraordinarily committed to covenant-keeping that he pursued his “bride” and wooed her back.
It is noteworthy that in both Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 the only allowance Jesus makes for divorce is unchastity. This is not surprising, as it would be the one truly covenant-breaking act of taking the deepest, most intimate love and devotion due solely to one’s husband or wife and giving it to another. Yet even here, divorce is not mandated, and God serves as the example. As mentioned a moment ago, God determined multiple times to grant forgiveness to his “adulterous bride.”
If this teaches us anything, it is that divorce is grievous to the Lord. Divorce may happen, even with people who truly love God and want to follow his commands. In our human condition we will continue to make mistakes, sometimes being unfaithful to our most important relational commitments. Sadly this sometimes leads to the severing of covenant ties. When this happens, God’s grace is available for the rebuilding of our lives. Unfortunately, divorce is often used as a utilitarian tool to serve our ever-changing desires. One day we feel like being married, the next day we don’t. Divorce is the ticket out whenever the covenant gets difficult or boring. Perhaps we should be honest and admit that covenants are sometimes too lightly made, making them vulnerable to being too easily discarded.
May God give us grace, that we may view marriage as the precious gift God intends for it to be, and to guard it as passionately as Jesus does.
See you along the Winding Path.
The Winding Path 