Lord, I Tried

Remember me, O my God, for good, according to all that I have done for this people.
– Nehemiah 5:19

Not all I have done in life turns out perfectly. Sometimes things do not turn out very well at all. There have been projects or endeavors that have brought me great satisfaction. There are other times when the most I can say about an effort is, “Well, at least I tried.”

Having just completed a brief journey through the Bible books of Ezra and Nehemiah, I wonder if the main characters may have felt this way. The narrative of this period of Israelite history is at times joyful and at other times painful. One day the people are on board and moving the right direction; the next day they are mired in the same disobedience they just overcame. When you look at the key leaders (Ezra and Nehemiah), at least one thing is unmistakable. They had a deep passion for bringing revival to the people, and they worked very hard to make it happen. If you were to ask them to assess the success of their efforts, their answers would probably vary depending on what day you asked.

There is a phrase that Nehemiah uses four times in the pages of the book that bears his name. Three of those four instances are in the last (13th) chapter, as Nehemiah sees that his best efforts for reform have not had much lasting impact. The phrase Nehemiah uses is, “Remember me, O God.” Every time I see that phrase and observe its context, it sounds in my mind like Nehemiah is saying, “Lord, I tried. Please see that I have tried.” I can imagine other characters in scripture expressing the same sentiment: Moses leading the Israelites through the wilderness, Jeremiah prophesying to a hard-hearted people, or the apostles of Jesus trying without success to cast out a demon. These and a host of others could give witness to their experiences which could have prompted the weary cry of, “Lord, at least I tried.”

Ministry can be difficult. This is true for anyone, whether pastors, ministry professionals, or any Jane Q. Christian who sets their heart on serving the Lord. There are days when we are encouraged by the fruit of our efforts, and there are days when we look and wonder why things didn’t turn out better than they did. In the midst of all this, we can find hope in remembering a couple of truths. One of those truths is that our salvation is not based on the success of our efforts to serve the Lord. Rather, it is based on our trust in the finished work of Christ on the cross. I might fall flat on my face in my work for the Lord, but that takes not one thing away from the blood of Jesus that covers my sin. In my baptism I hear the voice of God speak over me saying, “This is my beloved child.” That declaration has no qualifier that says, “…as long as he gets an A+ on his work.”

There is another truth that can offer encouragement in our efforts. It is expressed in one of my favorite verses in scripture, 1 Corinthians 15:58. It comes at the very end of the chapter where Paul speaks about the hope of resurrection. As if offering a word of assurance to inspire our present-day living, Paul says, “Therefore be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” If you let that sink in for a moment, you will realize this promise covers what we do not see as fruit of our efforts. We enjoy seeing the beneficial outcome of our work. We especially enjoy seeing it immediately. Sometimes, though, we don’t see the effects for a long time. In some cases, we will never see it with our own eyes. But that does not mean the fruit isn’t there. It does mean we have to trust the Lord to bring about the fruit. This is an act of faith on our part, and faith is precisely the framework of Christian ministry.

For each of us there will be days ahead when the most we can say is, “Lord, at least I tried.” When that happens to you, please take heart. You stand among many saints who have felt the same way.

See you along the Winding Path.